Choose Love, Not Porn

Before I start this article, I want people to know that this is not an attack on porn, men or women. I watched a TED Talk that was really intriguing and I thought it would be good brain food for some who are interested.

If you enjoy watching TED Talks, then there is one that I recommend you watch.

In today's generation, word on the street is that young men are losing their "groove" in bed and women are feeling the pressure to amaze due to excessive exposure to porn. But is porn really ruining our sex lives?

Cindy Gallop, founder of "Make Love, Not Porn," openly talks about how an entire generation has a skewed idea of sex because of hardcore porn. According to Gallop, "99.9 percent of all mainstream porn is made by men for men. The entire goal of mainstream porn is to get the man off. As a result, an entire generation of guys and girls is growing up believe that the be-all and end-all of sex is to get the man off."

Gallop explains in her video that the impact of porn as a stand-in for sex education on the youth. There are a number of things that aren't being openly talked about in school and with parents, and young adults are looking to porn for answers. She makes it very clear on her website that she is not anti-porn, but rather encourages people to watch porn without any expectations. Her slogan of Make Love, Not Porn is intended to help inspire and stimulate open, healthy conversations about sex, and open, healthy relationships.

So how is this affecting college students?

While in school, it's hard to find time for a boyfriend or girlfriend, let alone the right person. That's where porn's free, unlimited accessibility comes in.  Today's users can find their release by watching porn in multiple windows, searching endlessly until they find the hottest bit or sexiest video to fulfill their needs. Joseph Gordon-Levitt recently produced a movie that about the balance of porn and love, called Don Jon. It showed how easy it was to have unlimited access to porn, how he found his release in his own way and how that affected his sexual experiences with women. He stopped watching porn and found the right kind of satisfaction -- LOVE.

After watching Don Jon and Make Love, Not Porn, I took away the message that watching porn is too easy. It's not even worth it! There are too many expectations and false ideas of what you and your partner should do, and it may only lead to disappointment and hurt feelings.

If you feel like a lot of your expectations of sex are from porn, then try to cut it out a little! Help end the cycle of what's considered "hot and dirty," and find someone who is going to appreciate your love and your body and vice versa without any sexual expectations. I guarantee if this generation stops relying on porn as a release or as sex education, relationships and sexual experiences will change for the better.

Killing The 'Thigh Gap'

It’s about that time when jean shorts and sundresses are pulled out from the midst of your closet and working towards your “summer body” is all you’ve been thinking about. Pinterest boards and Tumblr blogs dedicated to fitness are becoming your daily go-to websites and achieving the “thigh gap” might be on your list of goals next to eating healthy and working out more.

I will be the first to admit that I have struggled with many issues when it comes to my weight, pushing myself to not give up until I had the best body, including the thigh gap. Why? Because that was what I thought looked good; models had it, other girls had it, and I thought guys liked that. That was my mindset until I discovered that having a thigh gap was almost impossible.

According to Fitness Blender and many other health websites, a thigh gap largely has to do with your bone structure which is something you CANNOT CHANGE. To try and diet and exercise your way to a thigh gap is completely unrealistic. Only 6 percent of the women in the United States are naturally born with the hip bone placement that allows you to have a thigh gap. (I’m serious….6 percent). 

See how different the bottom hip bones look?! Blows my mind!

There are many things in today’s society that are hurting the women of our generation and others to come. There are Tumblr pages dedicated to thigh gap photos for “thinspiration”, Twitter pages for celebrities’ infamous thigh gaps, and even a Wikipagewith 26 steps to get a thigh gap. Now, there’s nothing wrong with having a thigh gap! There is, however, something wrong with dieting to the point where you’re malnourished, excessively working out, and hurting yourself in effort to reach a goal that is literally not possible for most bodies.

Look at this Tumblr page to show you the beauty of the curve. Beyonce, Kate Upton, and Jennifer Lawrence are great examples of women who proudly rock their curvy figures!

My whole point of this rant ladies is to tell YOU that you are absolutely beautiful regardless if your thighs do or do not touch. There is nothing wrong with setting goals, improving your health, and loving all things healthy, but stop being so hard on yourself! (I put this on my door as a daily reminder)

Grab a friend and go to the gym; hold each other accountable! Invite people over and share your delicious yet healthy recipe that you’ve been dying to try. I mean, we live in SLO for crying out loud! Go off and hike every trail that’s out here or grab a bike and cruise downtown. If you are doing something that is benefiting you, making you happy, or is helping you stay active, give yourself a pat on the back and remind yourself that you’re proud. It’s time that we stop constantly bashing and comparing ourselves and embrace the beauty in our curves.

Now look in the mirror and remind yourself that you’re beautiful, because you are!

Xo,
Brittany

In Loving Memory

I was on a run around my neighborhood, enjoying the beautiful scenery just before the sun went down. I stopped to cross the street, and when I looked up, I saw the brightest star in the sky. That's when it all hit me, and I just started to cry. Two years ago tomorrow was the day that my wonderful Grandma went to heaven to be an angel. I can't even begin to wrap my head around how quickly times flies by; how can it be two years already? It feels like we were just celebrating Thanksgiving together as one big family, and then boom, now it's almost 2014.

Once I got home, I felt this sudden urge that I should write about her, and that some day I can read this post to my kids. My Dad had written an incredible note about my Grandma's legacy and how she changed our world with her love, and I was fortunate enough to be able to read it at her funeral. So this post, is going to be about Mummi and the legacy that she left with me.

Growing up, my Grandma was like a role model to me. She was always calling the house, picking me up from school, and watching me whenever she could. She worked extremely hard in everything that she did, and always taught me to do the same. I always looked up to her, she was such an inspirational woman. She grew up on a farm in Finland, and moved to America when she was 17 with her sisters to make a better life for herself; talk about bravery! She was such a goofball and whenever we would drive anywhere, she would turn on her Clay Aiken CD and we would sing along together. Who would've thought that a woman from Finland in her 70's would love Clay Aiken?!?! It cracks me up to this day.

I spent a lot of time with Mummi throughout my life and I cherish every memory we had. We never had a disagreement, she was so happy when we were together, and she always told me how much she loved me. I was able to live with her for 3 months, and I admired every day. She taught me how to cook, told me stories about Finland, and reminded me that family is everything and we should never let them go.

I will never forget the day when she told everyone that she had cancer. That news literally ripped my heart out and I was so angry. It seemed so selfish at the time to be mad at God, but I couldn't understand why she was the one who had to suffer, because she was so selfless. She was never angry; she looked me in the eye and told me "if God says that it is my time to go, then I am at peace with that". To witness her being still so selfless and in love with The Lord was eye opening. It showed me how incredible she truly was, and I pray to God that I am half the woman that she was. My family and I spent a lot of time with her in her last month of living. One day I was laying in bed with her singing songs and trying to make her laugh, and she just stroked my hair and said "you look so beautiful". That was the last thing that she said to me, and I love her so much for that. That was her legacy, and now I'm taking the pieces that she left with me and putting them in mine.

Whenever I pray, I talk to God and tell him to say hi to Mummi for me. I know she's there, I feel her every day. I am so thankful for my wonderful family, for loving me and showing me how to be a woman of faith. I love all of you to the moon and back, and I'm glad that we got to have Mummi in our lives.

Home

Well, I finally caved. I'm starting my first blog. I sat here in this little coffee shop on campus and thought, "what in the world is my first blog post going to be about?", and I've finally come up with an idea. HOME. What is home? I could easily look up endless amounts of definitions and quotes about home and go off of what other people have said, but it's just not the same. Not for my first blog post, that is. So what does home mean to me? Home is place that you create and make your own. A place that you spend endless amounts of time at, and open up your heart to. There will be people in and out of this home, but the memories that come from those people will always remind you of home. They will bring you happiness, sadness, and any other emotion that you can imagine, but that's okay. You learn from the experiences that you go through, and grow into a better person as you get older. Home is a place that you love and hold close to your heart.

You're probably thinking, alright Brittany, where are you going with this? Well, this is what I have been realizing since I have been going through college. I started this college journey by going to community college in my hometown, fully taking advantage of not having to pay for tuition or rent, and taking the easiest classes for my general education. I lived at home, and I truly did love my home, but normally when you go off to college you start a new life and find a new home. Well, that's what I did after three years in community college. I moved to Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Boy, talk about a move right? From Southern California, to the middle of nowhere, bible belt Tuscaloosa. Now, I was so excited because I thought, okay here it goes I'm finally going to a real college, I'm going to be starting a new life in a new home, this is going to be my home!!! It was temporary, but it wasn't all that I was hoping for. Sure, I met so many great friends, went to football games, and explored the life of a "southern girl". But I couldn't shake the fact that I wasn't truly happy; I couldn't stop thinking about my family, and not being able to adjust 100% to Tuscaloosa made me realize, this isn't home. I kept praying about what God wanted me to do with my life, and how I could figure out what path to look for, and that's when I decided to apply to Cal Poly. Cal Poly has always been an amazing school, but it has been the school that is so incredibly difficult to get into. February 18th, I received an e-mail from Cal Poly. I was so nervous, I couldn't even get myself to open it. My mind was flooding with doubt, and I just kept telling myself "it's okay if you didn't get in". BUT GUESS WHAT?!  I GOT IN.

It is now October 22nd, and I am a full time student at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo. I am the happiest I have been in a very long time, and I can honestly say that this is one of the best decisions that I have ever made. Sure, sounds so cliche, right?! But I'm being serious. I have only lived here for about three months now, but I still get excited when I show people my apartment, or tell people where I live. I did Week Of Welcome at CP, and it was so incredible and welcoming, that I knew from the first day that Cal Poly was going to be my new home. I get excited every morning, even when I have to wake up for an early class, because I take pride in my school, and I love my new home. God has made it very clear that this is where I should be, and he continues to bless me every day. Home is supposed to be a place that makes you so happy, that you never want to leave. Sure, you can go explore and travel, but it's a place that takes up that certain spot in your heart, and you'll always want to come back. I cannot wait for all of the memories and experiences that I am going to have here at Cal Poly, and this is just the beginning. I'm sure this won't be the last time that I talk about it!

Xo,
Brittany