How and Why to Make the First Move

The sun is shining, summer is approaching and cute guys are randomly appearing all over campus. You can't help but stare as they walk past you, but when eye contact is made, all eyes immediately hit the ground. As you walk away, you can't help but think to yourself, "why did I just do that?!"

This is where the trouble begins. One question that I hear too often is whether or not women should ask a guy out. The answer is usually a blatant NO WAY.

Why?

As girls, we have been spoon-fed ideas of the "perfect" romance with Prince Charming with a chariot awaiting in the background, or John Cusack holding his boom box outside our window. We are constantly bombarded with reminders that if the man isn't the one making moves in the relationship, then he will feel emasculated and possibly lose interest. Women are supposed to sit back, look pretty and wait to be asked out on a date.  We are always looking for that attractive male with just the right amount of confidence, but how long are we willing to wait?

Instead of doubting yourself and using the typical "why don't guys like me?" question, why don't women go for what they want and ask a guy on a date? There aren't many reasons why you shouldn't, so why not take a chance and see what happens. This gives women the opportunity to go for a guy that they think is attractive and steer clear from those weirdos who hit on you at the bar. With texting and applications like Tinder, girls are already taking the initiative to talk to guys -- just in a safe zone.  Sure, approaching a guy may be intimidating, but this puts you in control of your dating destiny!

I say forget what we know and go with the new! There are plenty of guys out there who would love to have a girl approach them; we see it quite often on Cal Poly Confessions for crying out loud. Guys fear that their way of showing interest will give us the wrong impression and weird us out, so let's change it up and try something different. You never know who you'll end up meeting.

Here are some fun tips to show a guy that you're interested:

1. Buy him a beer 

For all of the ladies who are 21, if a cute guy catches your attention, send him a beer! This will let him know that you're intrigued, giving him the opportunity to talk to you and make the next move.

2. Go on a guy-friendly outing

Find out what he's interested in or what he did the previous weekend! Try surfing, hiking or the shooting range; this will allow him to see how much fun you guys have together and how adventurous you can be. Starting off as good friends can lead to great things, girls!

3. Check out a concert

There are plenty of spur-of-the-moment concerts along on the Central Coast, so why not go together? Find out what kind of music he likes-- or maybe you both have similar taste. The Mid-State Fair is quickly approaching and there'll be plenty of great country artists, so snag a pair of tickets and go together. This doesn't apply too much dating pressure and allows you both to have a great time.

4. Have a group hang out night

If you don't feel comfortable hanging out with him by yourself just yet, then get a group of your friends together and hang out. Whether it's making food, watching movies, or hitting the beach, this will give you two a chance to get to know each other better and feel relaxed.

Go get 'em, ladies!

15 Signs Your Roommate is Actually Your Best Friend

1. Living together was never boring...

2. Your reaction when cute boys like your Instagram and Facebook photos...

3. The life motto when you eat one too many brownies...

4. Talking about what your summer workout plan consists of... or doesn't.

5. When your ex-boyfriends send you a text to hang out, this reaction is necessary...

6. When you go downtown and everyone constantly annoys you...

7. Planning your outfits for the day automatically turns into a fashion show...

8. Cuddling in each other's beds and Facebook stalking is a great time...

9. Talking about the constant struggles of your love life...

10. When you're driving and your favorite song comes on...

11. There is no judgement when either of you want to go out on a weekday...

12. When they go home for the weekend, you can't handle being alone...

13. All either you can think about is food... 24-7...

14. When you walk into a party together it's like...

15. In the end, they will always be your best friend.

Killing The 'Thigh Gap'

It’s about that time when jean shorts and sundresses are pulled out from the midst of your closet and working towards your “summer body” is all you’ve been thinking about. Pinterest boards and Tumblr blogs dedicated to fitness are becoming your daily go-to websites and achieving the “thigh gap” might be on your list of goals next to eating healthy and working out more.

I will be the first to admit that I have struggled with many issues when it comes to my weight, pushing myself to not give up until I had the best body, including the thigh gap. Why? Because that was what I thought looked good; models had it, other girls had it, and I thought guys liked that. That was my mindset until I discovered that having a thigh gap was almost impossible.

According to Fitness Blender and many other health websites, a thigh gap largely has to do with your bone structure which is something you CANNOT CHANGE. To try and diet and exercise your way to a thigh gap is completely unrealistic. Only 6 percent of the women in the United States are naturally born with the hip bone placement that allows you to have a thigh gap. (I’m serious….6 percent). 

See how different the bottom hip bones look?! Blows my mind!

There are many things in today’s society that are hurting the women of our generation and others to come. There are Tumblr pages dedicated to thigh gap photos for “thinspiration”, Twitter pages for celebrities’ infamous thigh gaps, and even a Wikipagewith 26 steps to get a thigh gap. Now, there’s nothing wrong with having a thigh gap! There is, however, something wrong with dieting to the point where you’re malnourished, excessively working out, and hurting yourself in effort to reach a goal that is literally not possible for most bodies.

Look at this Tumblr page to show you the beauty of the curve. Beyonce, Kate Upton, and Jennifer Lawrence are great examples of women who proudly rock their curvy figures!

My whole point of this rant ladies is to tell YOU that you are absolutely beautiful regardless if your thighs do or do not touch. There is nothing wrong with setting goals, improving your health, and loving all things healthy, but stop being so hard on yourself! (I put this on my door as a daily reminder)

Grab a friend and go to the gym; hold each other accountable! Invite people over and share your delicious yet healthy recipe that you’ve been dying to try. I mean, we live in SLO for crying out loud! Go off and hike every trail that’s out here or grab a bike and cruise downtown. If you are doing something that is benefiting you, making you happy, or is helping you stay active, give yourself a pat on the back and remind yourself that you’re proud. It’s time that we stop constantly bashing and comparing ourselves and embrace the beauty in our curves.

Now look in the mirror and remind yourself that you’re beautiful, because you are!

Xo,
Brittany