Photos to Remind You That the Post-Grad Life is Real

This short collage of pictures starring my WONDERFUL friends is a simple, yet hilarious joke that reminds us that the post-grad life can be boring, horrific and memorable all at the same damn time.

1. Let's begin with the fact that we are no where near the cool ocean-breezed, beautiful San Luis Obispo land and that in itself is depressing. Instead, we're all stuck in a town full of unbearable heat and high school memories.

2. It's bad enough that we were forced to move, but we also had to separate ourselves from our beloved friends who were our best and worst influences. Who else am I supposed to drink wine with at 3 p.m? You may be in similar situations like us where your dog is your only friend at the moment... 

Or maybe it's your mom... God bless.

3. Post-grad life is BORING. I apply to jobs hoping that my adjectives and self-descriptions help my applications, watch WAGS and Basketball Wives because I'm temporarily escaping reality and wishing that my life was glamorous and of course, make memes out of my pictures because why not? What else do I have to do other than be annoying and send these to friends in group texts?

                               

4. Going back home is absolutely stressful. You haven't lived with your siblings let alone your PARENTS in years and then you're just shoved back into the life of rules and responsibilities. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure my blood pressure and stress levels have increased since I've been back. Sure, living at home can save you money... but it's not always worth going through those moments where you question life.

Or how about those days alone in your room and refuse to see sunlight:

5. You want to know what's also horrible about being home too? Going through your old stuff. From the depths of your closet to that random box in the attic, you're bored as hell so you might as well go through it all, right? WRONG. Now you're sad because you remember how easy life was back in the day and you wish that you could go back. Life, man.

6. The last thing about post-grad life that hurts my stomach is being back in the hometown where almost everyone still happens to be. Your parents friends, old co-workers and PEOPLE FROM HIGH SCHOOL. Sure, I like running into some people here and there, but dear god it is my worst nightmare when I see multiple people at the mall and I'm wearing sweat pants and no make-up not giving a F*&@. On top of that, you are forced to answer the most dreadful question there is... "So what are you doing now that you've graduated?!?!" No. Just no. 

If you relate to this, I'm sure you'll relate to this wonderful meme:

 KBYE!

7 Things Holding You Back From the Life You Want

1. Your own fear

What you are fearing most does not have power; it is fear itself that has all of the power. Fear is the constant thoughts and feelings that loop around in your brain, making you second-guess yourself. The question is, how long are you going to allow fear to control you? The key to moving on is to accept your fears and face them head on.  Remove the weakening emotions and thoughts that you might have and seize the day.

2. The past

One of the best things that I have learned, especially from being in college for six years, is that you can really improve your life and personal well-being by letting go of what is in the past. We all have those days when we look back on our week and think, “What is in this for me? Why am I doing this?” In reality, this happens more than we’d like. Instead of reflecting or drowning yourself in negative memories, get rid of that cloud of hatred and let yourself BREATHE. Focus on what you want and how you’re going to make that happen.

3. Negative body image

This is always a sore subject, especially going to Cal Poly. We are surrounded by beautiful people 24/7 and it is extremely hard not to compare ourselves to others. But seriously, there is only one person’s opinion you should be concerned with when it comes your body and that is YOU. There is no such thing as a correct body type, as I talk about in “Ending the Thigh Gap.” Be proud of who you are and stay comfortable in your beautiful skin!

4. The idea of a perfect partner

Alright ladies, we’ve reached the age that having a checklist of qualifications for the perfect man or woman has got to go. Go ahead; toss it out the window because you don’t need it anymore. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have standards when we’re looking for a significant other, but having unrealistic expectations of a relationship is only setting you up for disappointment. Be open to meeting new people. Talk to that cute guy in your class or share a snack with the girl at the library. Find the right person that makes you happy and accepts you for who you are. The sooner you realize that there isn’t the “perfect man” or “perfect woman” out there, the better off you will be.

5. Excuses, excuses and more excuses

We go to Cal Poly and live in one of the most beautiful cities in California. Stop complaining and making excuses. We keep making up excuses for too many things: from working out to not having time to do anything and everything. These rationalizations make us feel better about not doing something that you need/want to be doing, but how long are we going procrastinate? Get up early or skip out on your favorite TV show; start doing what you need to do!

6. Not trying

I’ll make this one simple; Life is what you put into it, so if you are not willing to work hard and put forth the effort, you will most likely end up unhappy. You have the capability to make your life the best it can be, so make it happen.

7. The need to be happy all the time

If we were happy all of the time, imagine how annoying that would be? There would be no real emotion or truth, just over-the-top smiles all around. We all need to feel sadness, defeat and anger. These feelings serve who you are; they teach you a lesson and show you what to care about. Being happy is great and all, but having a full-blown crying session or an intense workout to blow off steam is a great way to express yourself and who you are. Be happy and allow yourself to feel.

“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.”
―F. Scott Fitzgerald

Why Quitting is Actually a Good Thing

Many of us see quitting as a failure, but is it really quitting or are we just moving on?

We’ve grown up with heroes in movies that face it all, never giving up despite how hard things get. Society has given us the expectation that when life gets tough we must fight back and battle on. There’s no denying that we are humans of habit, but when is enough really enough?

There are plenty of things that we do in life that we don’t give ourselves enough credit for. We do things for our friends, teachers, family and employers, but what about ourselves? 

It takes a lot of courage to admit that you’re unhappy with something or that your decisions weren’t the best. However, that is what creates the truth in things that matter. There are paths made for everyone, but when the going gets tough, sometimes there is a new path to be discovered.

Decisions that involve quitting aren’t always going to be easy. But if there is a time when quitting is the right thing to do, do not be afraid to do so because of what others might think. Live courageously and make choices that can have the potential to change your life.

Our time on this Earth may be limited, but there endless paths to travel on. Never waste your time on something that isn’t making you happy or is compromising what is right and wrong. Do not be ashamed because learning from these experiences is what makes us human. This is your life. Don’t fear the stigma of being a “quitter.” Be you and embrace the change.

 “There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors.” --Aldous Huxley

Choose Love, Not Porn

Before I start this article, I want people to know that this is not an attack on porn, men or women. I watched a TED Talk that was really intriguing and I thought it would be good brain food for some who are interested.

If you enjoy watching TED Talks, then there is one that I recommend you watch.

In today's generation, word on the street is that young men are losing their "groove" in bed and women are feeling the pressure to amaze due to excessive exposure to porn. But is porn really ruining our sex lives?

Cindy Gallop, founder of "Make Love, Not Porn," openly talks about how an entire generation has a skewed idea of sex because of hardcore porn. According to Gallop, "99.9 percent of all mainstream porn is made by men for men. The entire goal of mainstream porn is to get the man off. As a result, an entire generation of guys and girls is growing up believe that the be-all and end-all of sex is to get the man off."

Gallop explains in her video that the impact of porn as a stand-in for sex education on the youth. There are a number of things that aren't being openly talked about in school and with parents, and young adults are looking to porn for answers. She makes it very clear on her website that she is not anti-porn, but rather encourages people to watch porn without any expectations. Her slogan of Make Love, Not Porn is intended to help inspire and stimulate open, healthy conversations about sex, and open, healthy relationships.

So how is this affecting college students?

While in school, it's hard to find time for a boyfriend or girlfriend, let alone the right person. That's where porn's free, unlimited accessibility comes in.  Today's users can find their release by watching porn in multiple windows, searching endlessly until they find the hottest bit or sexiest video to fulfill their needs. Joseph Gordon-Levitt recently produced a movie that about the balance of porn and love, called Don Jon. It showed how easy it was to have unlimited access to porn, how he found his release in his own way and how that affected his sexual experiences with women. He stopped watching porn and found the right kind of satisfaction -- LOVE.

After watching Don Jon and Make Love, Not Porn, I took away the message that watching porn is too easy. It's not even worth it! There are too many expectations and false ideas of what you and your partner should do, and it may only lead to disappointment and hurt feelings.

If you feel like a lot of your expectations of sex are from porn, then try to cut it out a little! Help end the cycle of what's considered "hot and dirty," and find someone who is going to appreciate your love and your body and vice versa without any sexual expectations. I guarantee if this generation stops relying on porn as a release or as sex education, relationships and sexual experiences will change for the better.

How and Why to Make the First Move

The sun is shining, summer is approaching and cute guys are randomly appearing all over campus. You can't help but stare as they walk past you, but when eye contact is made, all eyes immediately hit the ground. As you walk away, you can't help but think to yourself, "why did I just do that?!"

This is where the trouble begins. One question that I hear too often is whether or not women should ask a guy out. The answer is usually a blatant NO WAY.

Why?

As girls, we have been spoon-fed ideas of the "perfect" romance with Prince Charming with a chariot awaiting in the background, or John Cusack holding his boom box outside our window. We are constantly bombarded with reminders that if the man isn't the one making moves in the relationship, then he will feel emasculated and possibly lose interest. Women are supposed to sit back, look pretty and wait to be asked out on a date.  We are always looking for that attractive male with just the right amount of confidence, but how long are we willing to wait?

Instead of doubting yourself and using the typical "why don't guys like me?" question, why don't women go for what they want and ask a guy on a date? There aren't many reasons why you shouldn't, so why not take a chance and see what happens. This gives women the opportunity to go for a guy that they think is attractive and steer clear from those weirdos who hit on you at the bar. With texting and applications like Tinder, girls are already taking the initiative to talk to guys -- just in a safe zone.  Sure, approaching a guy may be intimidating, but this puts you in control of your dating destiny!

I say forget what we know and go with the new! There are plenty of guys out there who would love to have a girl approach them; we see it quite often on Cal Poly Confessions for crying out loud. Guys fear that their way of showing interest will give us the wrong impression and weird us out, so let's change it up and try something different. You never know who you'll end up meeting.

Here are some fun tips to show a guy that you're interested:

1. Buy him a beer 

For all of the ladies who are 21, if a cute guy catches your attention, send him a beer! This will let him know that you're intrigued, giving him the opportunity to talk to you and make the next move.

2. Go on a guy-friendly outing

Find out what he's interested in or what he did the previous weekend! Try surfing, hiking or the shooting range; this will allow him to see how much fun you guys have together and how adventurous you can be. Starting off as good friends can lead to great things, girls!

3. Check out a concert

There are plenty of spur-of-the-moment concerts along on the Central Coast, so why not go together? Find out what kind of music he likes-- or maybe you both have similar taste. The Mid-State Fair is quickly approaching and there'll be plenty of great country artists, so snag a pair of tickets and go together. This doesn't apply too much dating pressure and allows you both to have a great time.

4. Have a group hang out night

If you don't feel comfortable hanging out with him by yourself just yet, then get a group of your friends together and hang out. Whether it's making food, watching movies, or hitting the beach, this will give you two a chance to get to know each other better and feel relaxed.

Go get 'em, ladies!

15 Signs Your Roommate is Actually Your Best Friend

1. Living together was never boring...

2. Your reaction when cute boys like your Instagram and Facebook photos...

3. The life motto when you eat one too many brownies...

4. Talking about what your summer workout plan consists of... or doesn't.

5. When your ex-boyfriends send you a text to hang out, this reaction is necessary...

6. When you go downtown and everyone constantly annoys you...

7. Planning your outfits for the day automatically turns into a fashion show...

8. Cuddling in each other's beds and Facebook stalking is a great time...

9. Talking about the constant struggles of your love life...

10. When you're driving and your favorite song comes on...

11. There is no judgement when either of you want to go out on a weekday...

12. When they go home for the weekend, you can't handle being alone...

13. All either you can think about is food... 24-7...

14. When you walk into a party together it's like...

15. In the end, they will always be your best friend.

Killing The 'Thigh Gap'

It’s about that time when jean shorts and sundresses are pulled out from the midst of your closet and working towards your “summer body” is all you’ve been thinking about. Pinterest boards and Tumblr blogs dedicated to fitness are becoming your daily go-to websites and achieving the “thigh gap” might be on your list of goals next to eating healthy and working out more.

I will be the first to admit that I have struggled with many issues when it comes to my weight, pushing myself to not give up until I had the best body, including the thigh gap. Why? Because that was what I thought looked good; models had it, other girls had it, and I thought guys liked that. That was my mindset until I discovered that having a thigh gap was almost impossible.

According to Fitness Blender and many other health websites, a thigh gap largely has to do with your bone structure which is something you CANNOT CHANGE. To try and diet and exercise your way to a thigh gap is completely unrealistic. Only 6 percent of the women in the United States are naturally born with the hip bone placement that allows you to have a thigh gap. (I’m serious….6 percent). 

See how different the bottom hip bones look?! Blows my mind!

There are many things in today’s society that are hurting the women of our generation and others to come. There are Tumblr pages dedicated to thigh gap photos for “thinspiration”, Twitter pages for celebrities’ infamous thigh gaps, and even a Wikipagewith 26 steps to get a thigh gap. Now, there’s nothing wrong with having a thigh gap! There is, however, something wrong with dieting to the point where you’re malnourished, excessively working out, and hurting yourself in effort to reach a goal that is literally not possible for most bodies.

Look at this Tumblr page to show you the beauty of the curve. Beyonce, Kate Upton, and Jennifer Lawrence are great examples of women who proudly rock their curvy figures!

My whole point of this rant ladies is to tell YOU that you are absolutely beautiful regardless if your thighs do or do not touch. There is nothing wrong with setting goals, improving your health, and loving all things healthy, but stop being so hard on yourself! (I put this on my door as a daily reminder)

Grab a friend and go to the gym; hold each other accountable! Invite people over and share your delicious yet healthy recipe that you’ve been dying to try. I mean, we live in SLO for crying out loud! Go off and hike every trail that’s out here or grab a bike and cruise downtown. If you are doing something that is benefiting you, making you happy, or is helping you stay active, give yourself a pat on the back and remind yourself that you’re proud. It’s time that we stop constantly bashing and comparing ourselves and embrace the beauty in our curves.

Now look in the mirror and remind yourself that you’re beautiful, because you are!

Xo,
Brittany